29.3.06

F

rom December:

"to those of you who are still reading this manifesto, if you carry nothing else away, please remember this: never take anything for granted. although we would like to believe otherwise, human beings' mortality is a fragile thing. there is no guarantee that you will wake up to see tomorrow--and it doesn't matter if you always wear your seatbelt, eat your veggies, or floss. the only way to truly acknowledge this fact is to live each day as fully as you possibly can. eat a cookie for breakfast every once in a while. do something random and crazy at least once a month. reconnect with old friends. challenge your own boundaries, fears, and prejudices. you may not get the opportunity to do this tomorrow, a week, or a year from now."


Those words seem so empty now...

posted by amanda @ 4:18 PM

30 Comments:

At 3/29/2006 04:43:00 PM, Blogger Marisa said...

They are not empty. They were spoken from the heart.

I try to live that way.

I hope that you are doing well. I have been thinking of you and hope that you are taking care of yourself. :-)

 
At 3/29/2006 06:25:00 PM, Blogger barbschellenberg said...

I agree with that! I pray that you are doing well, and finding comfort in the kind words of your friends, and strangers. I hope that you continue this blog, to honor your husband :) You are loved and cared for, in this blog community.

 
At 3/29/2006 07:24:00 PM, Blogger bunny said...

Those words are anything but empty.

I lost a dear friend to cancer several years ago. He didn't drink, didn't smoke, exercised, ate right...stage four cancer diagnosed on Christmas eve. Five months later we lost him.

Life is precious, and it is fragile. I no longer take it for granted.

I am so sorry you had to face this loss. There is nothing I or anyone can say to make it better. How we wish there were.

 
At 3/29/2006 09:58:00 PM, Blogger JustRun said...

I remember those words from the first time I read them, over and over. Just like today. They spoke to me in a way that I'll always remember.
Though I don't know you, you and your family have been in my thoughts and my heart each day.

 
At 3/29/2006 10:10:00 PM, Blogger Jackie said...

My heart broke for you when I read your last post. I have been coming here at least once a day ever since to see if you updated, and how you are doing.

I know that nothing will ever replace Eric, or will ever fill the hole that is now in your heart. But please know, that your words have truly touched my life, and the lives of everyone that reads this blog. You really are doing something worth while here.

You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

 
At 3/30/2006 01:59:00 PM, Blogger Miss Misery said...

I know that they seem empty to you right now at the moment, and I know nothing we say or do will fill the void in your heart, but please remember that we all love you and that those words are not empty, they are true. So eat that cookie, and allow yourself to smile at the memories. Eric will always be with you, and I know that it really sucks that he's gone, but I know that you know he will always be in your heart.

I'm thinking of you, and I'm hoping that you will soon come out of the darkness you are currently engulfed in. It's totally understandable to feel that way though, but in time remember there are so many people with their hands out streched, waiting to help you out of that darkness.

I know it's hard to, but smile again Amanda, smile about the life that Eric lead with you and that he was loved. There are far to many people in this world who have forgotten how to love, don't become one of them. All this wasn't in vain.

 
At 3/30/2006 02:55:00 PM, Blogger Minerva said...

Dear dear Amanda,
They seem hollow to you but to us, they resound with wisdom, love and true understanding.. Your blog stands to us as a wonderful place where we learnt the truth about cancer, the awful stinking truth and you have helped so many people along the way....

Thinking of you, thinking of Eric and here anytime you need me to rant, roar or just weep,

Minerva

 
At 3/30/2006 03:58:00 PM, Blogger Jeannette said...

Amanda,

Words mean different things to us at different times. You wrote those at a time when you were beginning to feel it was okay to live your life with joy no matter the situation. You were casting out the fear of the unkown with what appeared to be a successful transplant and moving forward. Now it is a different time for you. In my heart my wish for you is that you one day feel that joy in living again. But for now, everyone of us that come here would share your pain, if only it were possible. Thinking of you...

 
At 3/30/2006 07:45:00 PM, Anonymous debutaunt said...

A,

You know I love you. That's about all I can say right now.

Please keep running. I don't know why that is so important to me, but I sure hope you keep on moving.

I do love you. You hold such a special place in my heart.

joy,
Debs

 
At 3/31/2006 10:57:00 AM, Blogger Clandestine said...

you're in my thoughts.

xoxo

 
At 3/31/2006 03:09:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just read through this entire blog and must confess that I cried during so many parts. My heart goes out to you entirely. I don't know what I would do if I were in your shoes. I don't know what more to say other than I wish more than anything that you find comfort... somewhere.

Hugs from a stranger,
~ Ness

 
At 3/31/2006 03:44:00 PM, Blogger Jen said...

I am very glad you worte again. I've thought about you daily since your last post. I found your blog about 3 months ago. I'm sincerely sorry for your loss, and I hope you can find the worth of your own words. Nothing about this blog was ever hollow or a waste of time. You've helped so many other people. I hope the people around you can bring you some comfort right now.

 
At 3/31/2006 06:13:00 PM, Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

I've thought about you daily too, Amanda. I can't offer any words of comfort, because there just are none. I'm just giving you a big virtual hug right now and saying from my heart, "I'm so sorry."

 
At 3/31/2006 07:32:00 PM, Blogger Chris said...

Anything I can think of to say right now just seems empty and hollow. So, along with saying I'm so very, very sorry, I would like to say thank you. Thank you for the time and energy you spent on this blog.

This blog is about hope, courage, real love, devotion, and the horrible truth about cancer and who it affects. Your words and thoughts were worthwhile, and have made a profound difference in so many lives.

 
At 4/01/2006 06:00:00 PM, Blogger annie said...

Those words are SO true, we all need to remember them.

 
At 4/02/2006 01:01:00 PM, Anonymous Ashley said...

The words are true though, spoken from the heart. Though they don't seem it now, they will again one day.

You're in my heart and prayers. -hug-

 
At 4/02/2006 01:16:00 PM, Blogger Britmum said...

Dear Amanda

I know you can't see it now and your probably won't see it for a long time, but you will one day again. Those words will mean something again.

It took me two years to come to terms with my loss. You need to give yourself the time and allow the grief to come in. Not everyday was hell and eventually each day got brighter. Reading books about other peoples loss really helped me and I didn't feel so isolated. Life will be good again and you will be able to remember Eric with a smile and there will always be moments tinged with sadness for ever but we wouldn't want it any other way.

My prayers are with you and I know that will not give you any comfort right now but its there when you need it.

Catherine

 
At 4/04/2006 11:15:00 PM, Blogger abcd said...

Dear Amanda,
I "hear ya'. I did not lose my
husband, but I lost my sister Sarah. Our family knows how
impt. our friends and family really
are in this world. We try and
live each day to it's fullest. And
in doing so we hope we are honoring
Sarah.

Your blog shows the ugly truth as
someone else said. Your words,
Eric's life, everone's strength-
those are true words.

We all wish you strength, and peace.

Shoshie

 
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