cancer. it's not just an astrological sign anymore.

sentimental...or maudlin?

this past weekend, hubby and i attempted to get our place looking somewhat appropriate for the upcoming holidays. we spent the better part of our time decorating, baking, and listening to elvis' "if everyday was christmas" album.

we also purchased the first real xmas tree of our marriage. (we were still living on oahu for xmas '04. to make a long story short, there was a tree shortage in hawaii last year and we ended up with a white pine potted sapling from our local department store's floral section as our first tree--it was the only tree-resembling object that we could find.) to make up for last year, we wanted the full experience this year. so hubby and i found a tree farm back in the sticks near our town, and trudged out to the fields saturday morning with saw in hand. we found the perfect little tree and i now have experienced a brief spell of what it must be like to be a lumberjack.

during the drive to the farm, the two of us were sitting in the car making small talk, when i felt the usual sting in my throat and prickle in my eyes. i hid my emotional moment rather effectively as hubby didn't even notice. i was embarrassed--i've been extremely emotional since we've left baltimore, and now i was about to cry for no good reason?!? then it hit me. saturday morning was the first time in over three months that hubby and i have gone somewhere with the sole intention of being frivolous and having fun. this trip didn't involve a doctor's office or a stop at the pharmacy. our jaunt to the tree farm was just a short trip to buy something that we ultimately didn't need, but it was the first thing that we've done together in a long time that wasn't overshadowed by the transplant.

hubby's condition has improved remarkably since we left my parents' house, and we are trying to find our way back into the mundane day-to-day routine of the working stiff. but there are times when it feels almost as if we are starting our relationship all over again, which is an exciting and terrifying experience. as hubby's tastes in food, energy level, and general life perspective have all changed dramatically in recent months, sometimes it feels as if i have a whole new man in my life.

whatever happens, i hope that this new man and i hit it off as good as hubby and i did before the relapse.

posted by amanda @ 1:17 AM