inappropriate emotions...

...are a sign of many psychological disorders.

gram's breast cancer is a stage 2A, a little further along than previously thought, and she will need chemotherapy. she was asking me a lot of questions about the side effects, and i think that she's more than a little scared. i'm pissed off about being a semi-expert on something that no one deserves to know anything about.

in the same conversation, she relayed to me that in the small town where i grew up and she still lives, the gossip chain got twisted and she got a couple phone calls asking if i was the one who had cancer. i laughed out loud and thought that it was extremely amusing that cancer has overshadowed our family's lives to the point that even the backwater-town gossip hounds were getting the details mixed up.

last night, hubby got extremely nauseated after dinner for the third day in a row. i had made stirfry and added a little bit of cayenne to the pre-bottled sauce to add some flavor. when he got sick, i broke down and told him, "i'm so sorry that i made you sick...my cooking always makes you sick anymore, and i don't know what to do. i'm so sorry about the cayenne." i proceeded to cry for a good 20 minutes. all over a damn pinch of spice.

posted by amanda @ 12:43 PM


At 11/16/2005 02:28:00 PM, Blogger Jackie said...

I wish that I had words to convay how I am feeling, and was able to say something to make you feel better.
All I can say is, years down the road, when you and hubby are old and grey, you will look at a bottle of cayenne and burst out laughing.

That is my wish for you...

At 11/16/2005 06:30:00 PM, Blogger Minerva said...

Aha...now if he annoys you, just shake the bottle of turmeric at him and say...'remember, my secret weapon?'

Seriously darling, like I would, he will just so appreciate you cooking for him...


At 11/16/2005 11:17:00 PM, Blogger Being Made said...

I SO relate to crying over a spice.

My one really MAJOR meltdown when Mom was sick was after Daddy came to me and said that Mom didn't like what I was cooking... Could I please not cook so much of this, and so much of that?

I lost it... I mean... LOST IT. All day long I was a mess. And then I casually mentioned to Mom that Dad had mentioned it to me, and then all hell really broke loose.

For me it was this thing that I was trying SO HARD to do for Mom to make her happy and make her life easier and the thought that I had screwed that up just ate me up.

Anyway... I didn't mean to go on and on. Just wanted to say that I've cried a pretty darn big cry over spices (and also crescent rolls) myself, so you're not alone there.

Thinking of you.


At 11/18/2005 11:31:00 AM, Blogger Hope said...

Thinking of you today.


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