22.4.05

help, my brain's exploding

hubby and i are ordinarily very easy-going folks. the first two months of his relapse went as well as can be expected, with both of us maintaining a semblance of a good attitude and outlook on things.

now, for some reason, i am going completely insane. and i think that hubby's attitude is suffering from my sudden break from reality.

we found out last week that we are most likely moving to the d.c. area at the end of next month (one of the plusses of being a fed is that they can move you to a job closer to family if you need it). good news, especially compiled with hubby's early release from the hospital last week, right?

ever since this weekend, my mind has constantly been spinning up doomsday scenarios affecting nearly every facet of my life. for example:

1) there will be a person with an exotic disease on one of our flights, which hubby will catch b/c of having a low immune system, hence creating more complications;

2) our cat (who is like our child) will get lost en route (thanks hubby for putting that one in my head)

3) my new supervisors will think that i'm a slacker and using hubby's illness as an excuse to miss work

4) we won't like hubby's new oncologist; or won't be able to find a bone marrow match for the transplant, or any number of things that could go wrong with his treatment...

it is as if my sensible and optimistic side has suddenly jumped ship. and hubby's feeling low now 'cause of his treatments, so now we are both rotten.

bah.

posted by amanda @ 7:20 PM

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